Those days are gone.

First post for 2013. 

Literally cried while reading mel's blog. And those tears can't seem to stop.

Late night and couldn't fall asleep with all these thought running in my mind.

Flashbacks, memories, they all hurt so badly. 

You miss that person so much and every second you just hope that things were like back then. 

I can't help but think of all that we've been through and all that I've lost along the way.

Exactly 2 months since our story ended.

I never thought that our story would come to an end this fast. 

I guess we were just not meant to be.

Oh well, nothing last forever. 

One word, tired. And it's all gone.

And you left me here all alone with a broken heart. 

Been trying so hard, doing every single thing I can to save "us".

You want things easy. How do you expect someone who loves you to hate you? Even you do things that make them hate you, but in the end they can't.

It's not because you think that we cant work out, it's that you didnt want us to work out. 

I dont ever want to give up on you but I have to, and let go. 

And you know how it feels like? It feels like your heart got stabbed for a million times you rather die.

I just dont know what to feel anymore.

"What went wrong?"

And sometimes I can't help it but think, was it my fault? Am I not good enough? 

All the what ifs kill.

What if I did this. what if I did that. 

I wonder if I ever cross your mind. I wonder if our memories hit you.

I wonder if you'll feel sad after we broke up. I wonder was I ever important to you. I wonder why aren't you afraid of losing me like how I'm afraid of losing you. I wonder if every word you said was true. I wonder if I ever mean something to you. I just cant stop... wondering.

Yes people change.

The scariest thing is that you never thought they change in such a short time. 

Someone who you know became someone you knew. Pathetic isn't it.

What's with all these fucked up feelings. 

At times, I just feel like leaving everything behind and run far away from reality.

Keep reminding myself, telling myself, I have to move on.

Moving on is never easy.

I thought I was moving on pretty well, but then I realised I was still at the same spot. Oh well, that was a few weeks back. And now I'm sure I'm moving. Not moved, but moving. 

I dont wanna live in sorrows. Not worth crying over spilt milk. 

There's so much more in life. 

Why care when he doesn't give a fuck about you? Why miss when you will never cross his mind? 

Suck it up. I have to stop wondering and thinking. What's in the past stays in the past. 

I'm never letting my guards down easily anymore.

Now, I'm afraid to fall, because I can't stand going through another heartbreak anymore. 

But they say, if you're afraid, you'll never get anything.

Oh well, go with the flow. God had His plans ready for you. All you have to do is wait for the time to come. 

Feels so good after letting it all out here with the accompany of tears. 

People have feelings, so do I. I dont see the problem of crying. At least you're strong enough to cry,  and also better than holding in. 

Late nights like this just suck.

Best things come when you least expect them to.

Had been ages since i last update my blog. 

Class trip just ended a few days ago. And I miss it. Really.

This penang trip's gonna be a memorable one. Those crazy nights with the bunch. 

All the good foods. (Y)

Tiring yet fun trip. All the perspiration throughout the trip was definitely worth it. 

Thanks to Colin who made this trip a successful one. 

He really did put a lot of effort into it. 

Without him, no doubt that things will definitely go chaos. 

He's like a big brother to me, thanks for watching me during that wild night. :') 

Always fight, until you can't anymore, and then be fought for. 

You know it's time to give up when all your efforts aren't paying off. 

You know it's time to let go when there's nothing left for you to hold on.

You know it's time to move on when you've been staying in your past for too long. 

Gave my last fight, yet it didn't work. 

And that's when I finally realized that it's time to let go and move on. 

I'm kinda glad right now. Sort of relieved. 

First day of work tomorrow. Nervous. :( 

Wish me all the best hahaha. 

Byeee. 

Find what it is that makes you happy

and who it is that makes you happy 

and you're set. 

Promise.

Close your eyes and see where your heart leads you to.

Yay. Haven't been blogging for about 2 months again. (Y)

Life is so fcuked up sometimes. 

Since you know that it's gonna end up like this, an ending that you don't like, you don't want, why do you wanna start it in the first place? 

Fcuk all those rumours out there. And to those who actually believes those rumours, you guys deserve a big punch especially my close ones.

I'm like so pissed now. Knowing so much that i don't know. It's like I've been living in another world lately. 

Idgaf to those rumours because even the biggest "victim" doesn't give a damn anymore. Yes I should't care.

Knowing that someone you relied on lately seems to be unreliable anymore. #sucksttm

Don't know whether to believe or not to what he said, but still gotta beware. 

I'm tired of everything. Everything.

Mood got ruined up by some unnecessary things. (Y)

Nearly got into an arguement. (Y)

That feeling strikes again. (Y) 

And to someone, i know i swear a lot in our conversation. Sorry.

Imagine about things that will never happen in reality when you're in your bed about to sleep. 

I know i'm not the only one who experience this. 

Those imaginations just come up to your mind and you have no idea why are you even imagining about them.

Not only imaginations, feelings, everything just come up to you when you're about to sleep.

What is this? 

And yes, I've been busying myself, tiring myself, so that i'll go off to dreamland right after I jump onto my bed. 

I feel something weird between us. I wanna fix it right but I dont think i have the capability to. 

I'm afraid of broken hearts and tears. 

I'll just leave everything to time. 

I need somebody to listen. There is, somebody who's willing to listen, so be glad yiling. 

Oh, I'm tired of waiting too. 

I guess that's all? 

Penguin is off to finish her homework and sleep. 

Bye guys. :)

I have spent too many days, 

trying to be the pillar of optimism, 

that keeps up the facade, 

even when everything's not okay.

The journey is more important than where you end up.

Things end. But memories last forever.

Hey guys. :)

Haven't been blogging for the past 2 months, I know. 

What I really want now is the rain to stop. I really need a walk outside. 

And for a special girl,I know i'm late but I hope you don't mind. Thanks for being a part in my life. I love you and you know it. Do you feel loved now? <3

The girl on your left, isn't she pretty? :3 She's officially 16 now. She loves Eminem.And FYI, she's mentally dating Eminem. She likes to smile, she likes to bite. :B Dark chocolate is her favourite. And she loves to be happy. Wanna know more? Ask her then. :P 

Saw your status yesterday, and knowing that you wanna forget about me kills me a litle inside. I don't know why. Confused much.

You want, you don't want, you wan't, you don't want. I have no idea what you want now.

All you can say it's your fault. I've heard enough of your apology. I don't need a "sorry", I just want you to make things right. 

And now you're afraid that I'll ignore you. You should have expected that. 

You gave up after calling me twice and whatsapp-ed me a few messages because I ignored all of them.

You said you were scared, you don't have the courage. 

"Coward", this word kinda suits you huh?

I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but then you just did. I told myself before that I'm not gonna tear up because of you. 

Now, all I wanna say is, it's not up to me, it's up to both of us. I'm sorry that I made you waited for so long. I guess if I've gave you a proper answer that time, you would have moved on now. 

Hunger games is one great movie. Peeta and Katniss <3

When is this rain gonna stop? 

I don't wanna walk in the rain. 

I swear to you , 

I'll be there for you, 

This is not a drive by. 

I can never be brave because you make my heart race.

Do you know how much you mean to me?

Hey guys. I haven't been updating my blog since YESTERDAY. I mean since last year. Yesterday's post isn't counted. Guess I've been missing a lot huh? 

2012, form 4's life is tough. I wanna go back to 2011. :(

Can you imagine, it's just the start of the year and in just a wink, chinese new year is over.

Time pass really fast.

Had loads of fun during cny. It was great to see my cousin bro back from Sabah. :)

Cny dinners and parties!

Pictures show the fun. 

cny party at connie's house.

okayy. I have no idea who's middle finger is that. o.o

firecrackers. :D

Pavillion's cny decorations. 

Bear bear in pavillion.

Thailand.

Lu...... *forgotten*

KOREA BABE <3

Fuyohhh. 

Okay, spot those shisha tubes? Many people were shisha-ing at that street i walked by near pavillion. And those shisha smells like some kind of fruits. And dad asked if i wanna try. :O

拜天公

my neighbour did them. (Y)

firecrackers. 

THE LAST DINNER FOR CNY.

roasted pig. 

this fella. yea his cute, his the one who scratches me, puts saliva on both my legs, and wipe his 鼻涕 on my hand. T___T 

Baby baby baby :3

ZIQING, ZIXUEN! BETTER LOOK HERE.

JUST WANNA WISH YOU GUYS ALL THE BEST AND GOOD LUCK FOR MSSD. 

JIA YOU AND DAPAO THEM! (Y) <3

I hate hearing something that absolutely kills you inside

and having to act like you don't care.

That's all.

Byeee :)

For someone special.

HI.

I have to go to tuition.

BYE.

someone been complaining about my dead blog. And just a short, really really short one to satisfy her. <3 

For you melanie :P