First post for 2013.
Literally cried while reading mel's blog. And those tears can't seem to stop.
Late night and couldn't fall asleep with all these thought running in my mind.
Flashbacks, memories, they all hurt so badly.
You miss that person so much and every second you just hope that things were like back then.
I can't help but think of all that we've been through and all that I've lost along the way.
Exactly 2 months since our story ended.
I never thought that our story would come to an end this fast.
I guess we were just not meant to be.
Oh well, nothing last forever.
One word, tired. And it's all gone.
And you left me here all alone with a broken heart.
Been trying so hard, doing every single thing I can to save "us".
You want things easy. How do you expect someone who loves you to hate you? Even you do things that make them hate you, but in the end they can't.
It's not because you think that we cant work out, it's that you didnt want us to work out.
I dont ever want to give up on you but I have to, and let go.
And you know how it feels like? It feels like your heart got stabbed for a million times you rather die.
I just dont know what to feel anymore.
"What went wrong?"
And sometimes I can't help it but think, was it my fault? Am I not good enough?
All the what ifs kill.
What if I did this. what if I did that.
I wonder if I ever cross your mind. I wonder if our memories hit you.
I wonder if you'll feel sad after we broke up. I wonder was I ever important to you. I wonder why aren't you afraid of losing me like how I'm afraid of losing you. I wonder if every word you said was true. I wonder if I ever mean something to you. I just cant stop... wondering.
Yes people change.
The scariest thing is that you never thought they change in such a short time.
Someone who you know became someone you knew. Pathetic isn't it.
What's with all these fucked up feelings.
At times, I just feel like leaving everything behind and run far away from reality.
Keep reminding myself, telling myself, I have to move on.
Moving on is never easy.
I thought I was moving on pretty well, but then I realised I was still at the same spot. Oh well, that was a few weeks back. And now I'm sure I'm moving. Not moved, but moving.
I dont wanna live in sorrows. Not worth crying over spilt milk.
There's so much more in life.
Why care when he doesn't give a fuck about you? Why miss when you will never cross his mind?
Suck it up. I have to stop wondering and thinking. What's in the past stays in the past.
I'm never letting my guards down easily anymore.
Now, I'm afraid to fall, because I can't stand going through another heartbreak anymore.
But they say, if you're afraid, you'll never get anything.
Oh well, go with the flow. God had His plans ready for you. All you have to do is wait for the time to come.
Feels so good after letting it all out here with the accompany of tears.
People have feelings, so do I. I dont see the problem of crying. At least you're strong enough to cry, and also better than holding in.
Late nights like this just suck.
